A few years ago, my pastor asked a few of us mothers to write a letter to ourselves twenty years ago, sharing wisdom and advice as an older mother. After much thought and prayer, the following is my heart.
Dear Sharon,
I am thankful that years ago you and Gary decided that you would, as much as possible, stay at home with your children and be a homemaker. You have given up many material things in order to do that, but I know you are finding it is worth the sacrifice. Don’t fail to show honor and respect for Gary and to express your thanks often to him for all the many ways he works to take care of you and the children. You are learning to be content in whatever circumstances you find yourself.
Time passes so quickly...cherish the years you still have with Clark and Tiffany at home. Keep the communication lines open by listening more than lecturing. Be willing to admit when you are wrong. Kids are so forgiving! Remember that time you had to ask Clark for forgiveness, and he responded, "That's okay, Mom; after all, you and Dad are just rookies." Indeed, you are just rookies at this parenting business. You can see that Tiffany's temperament is so different than yours and will require you to have understanding, patience, and encouragement. Allow her to grow, develop, and bloom the way God has made her.
Recognize that life never stays the same...there are seasons of life in which you get comfortable, but God has a way of "stirring up your nest" and may ask you to give up something you love. Remember when you were teaching a high school girls Sunday School class and loved it? You were pregnant with Amber, and just before she was born, God began dealing with you that you needed to give it up. Even though you struggled with that decision, not understanding His reasons, you were obedient. Then 3 1/2 weeks after Amber was born, she became critically ill, and your lives changed forever. Sometimes it is so hard to be obedient, but God's ways aren't our ways, and He has purposes for you in each and every season of life.
The challenges and demands of your sweet and ornery Amber have become greater with this special child God has given you and Gary. Remember there is only one way to stay prepared for the trials, heartaches, and struggles that will continue to come in caring full time for Amber and her needs...that is by continuing to deliberately carve out time each day with the Lord in prayer and in His Word. Knowing Him more and more, holding on to who He is and His love for you, and knowing His promise to never, EVER leave you or forsake you will be what sustains you during the coming times of suffering and trials. Demands on your time and energy will grow and be many and varied, but when you choose to make Him your priority, you will be amazed how He will LITERALLY multiply your time and energy so that somehow, all that needs to get done will be done.
Sharon, remember that nothing can touch you or your family that hasn't been first filtered through God's loving hands, and He will give you the grace to walk through it as you have already seen Him do countless times. Whatever lies ahead, cultivate a grateful heart, rather than a murmuring and complaining one. A grateful heart is one which rests in the sovereignty of God and will spill over to your family and change the whole atmosphere of your home.
My dear friend…
Sharon and her husband, Gary, live in Neosho, Missouri, and are blessed with five grandchildren. They have a married son and a married daughter and their middle child, Amber who is 42, continues to live at home with them, requiring 24/7 care. Sharon highly recommends the ministry of Joni and Friends – Serving People with Disabilities, which has given their family much emotional and spiritual support. A favorite devotional book of Joni’s that has become a favorite gift to many friends is Pearls of Great Price.
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